Material world teens
by Walt Mueller
Shortly after graduating from high school, a young man by the name of Lebron James signed an NBA contract and inked numerous endorsement deals. Before he even set foot on an NBA basketball court, James was already a multi-millionaire. If his basketball abilities hadn’t already made him the envy of his teenaged peers, his new-found riches had. In the eyes of most children and teens, Lebron James had become the personification of the American Dream. The collective youth culture longingly sighed, “Oh, to be walking in Lebron’s shoes!” To most kids, Lebron had it all.
Listening to kids talk about Lebron James took me back in time to a conversation I had in 1991 with a group of high school guys about something we had just read in the USA Today sports page. “This isn’t fair!” Doug said in disbelief as he read the article on sports salaries. Doug read the astounding figures to us out loud: Quarterback Joe Montana made $12,461 for each pass he completed. Boxer Buster Douglas fought two fights, making $1.3 million for beating Mike Tyson and $24.1 million for losing to Evander Holyfield. Gerry Cooney lasted five minutes in the boxing ring with George Foreman and made $2.5 million! Basketball star Ralph Sampson made $18,349 for each point he scored during the NBA season.1 The list went on and on.
I sat back and listened as the guys talked about how unfair and unjust it all was. I had to agree. It didn’t seem fair that someone could demand and receive so much for playing a game.
The discussion took a not-too-surprising turn when each of the guys confessed that the salaries would be just and fair if they themselves were one of those sports stars. They would trash all of their other career hopes and dreams if they could cash in on fame, celebrity and the big money. Each one said they would give it all up in a minute to be “successful.”
I’ve spent a lot of time over the years thinking about that conversation. Each of those guys would tell you that his most important goal in life was to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. But that day they shared a tempting dream that betrayed a different set of priorities and desires.
To be honest, I’ve had to question my own priorities on a regular basis. I’d like to think that if big money ever fell into my lap, I’d spend it in ways that would be pleasing to God. But I know deep down inside that there are some “things” that would be awfully tempting if my wallet was ever that thick.
The world of sports and sports salaries mirrors a commitment that runs deep and wide through the American spirit. Judging by skyrocketing increases since my discussion with the guys back in 1991, the commitment is growing. Consider this: barely out of his teenage years, Lebron James made $229.19 for each second played and $1865.13 for each point scored during the 2006 NBA season. In addition to his salary, he signed a $90 million endorsement contract with Nike. He’s not alone. He represents only the tip of the iceberg.
Success, winning, purpose and getting ahead have all been defined in material terms. This way of thinking has a profound effect on the way we choose to live our lives each and every day. It determines how we make and spend our money. It dictates how we spend our time, where we go to college and the type of vocational track that we pursue. And to a large degree, it determines how we approach parenting and the few short years that we have with our children. In spite of the fact that materialism leads down a dead-end road, and the fact that Jesus warned his followers about the dangers of money and wealth, materialism continues to reign supreme in collective and individual hearts.
Some have suggested that following the materialistic and excessive “me decade” of the 1980s, young people were becoming less materialistic than previous generations. When speaking about their own attitudes, many teens criticize the materialism of their parents and other adults. However, by judging from their teenage lifestyles, a different message comes through. They are spending more and more money in pursuit of success and satisfaction. Marketers know this to be the case and are tapping into the desires of our children and teens in order to get them to spend money. The title of one marketing text refers to 8- to 10-year-olds as The Great Tween Buying Machine.2 Another recognizes the effects of this marketing blitz: Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood.3 Marketing critic Juliet Schor, in her book Born To Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture, says, “the United States is the most consumer-oriented society in the world.” And, “Kids and teens are now the epicenter of American consumer culture. They command the attention, creativity and dollars of advertisers.”4 In her book, Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers, Alissa Quart recognizes that “some have described teens as a new proletariat, kids who work primarily to consume more goods.”5
Evidence of this materialistic reality arrives in my mailbox almost every day of the week. Every member of my family—including my kids—receives multiple offers for pre-approved credit cards with lines of credit sometimes running into the thousands of dollars. The contrast between this and my own struggle to get my first credit card couldn’t be more marked. Upon graduating from college in 1978 I thought it might be a good idea to get a gas card for emergency use on trips. At the time, unsolicited pre-approved credit card offers were unheard of. It took me weeks to fill out my credit card application, send it in and wait patiently for a response. When the response came, the credit card company saw my young age as a risk and only offered me a line of credit of only a few hundred dollars. Not so today. The only things credit card companies know about my kids are these: their name, their address and the fact that they’re part of a generation whose materialism has them spending money far above their means. It’s not surprising that a recent print ad for the American Express Card tells readers, “If you can imagine it, we can get you there.”
Webster’s Dictionary defines materialism as “the doctrine that the only or the highest values or objectives lie in material well-being” and “a preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things.”6 It’s a doctrine that’s been shaping our way of life for a long, long time.
When it comes to materialism, our children have learned their lessons well. They carry on a legacy that has been handed down to them from generation to generation. At the root of that legacy lies the belief that our happiness is ultimately found in the pursuit and accumulation of things.
Scott Storch is a 32-year-old record producer. In the first few paragraphs of a recent article on Storch in Rolling Stone magazine, readers learned a lot about the man, including the marks of his success. They include:
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He drives a white convertible Lamborghini.
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He glistens because of all the jewelry he wears.
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He wears a 34 carat yellow-diamond ring worth $3 million.
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He wears a 13 carat white-diamond ring.
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He wears a $250,000 diamond-encrusted watch.
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He wears three “iced-out” chains around his neck.
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He’s worth $70 million.
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He’s “cocooned” by an entourage including five assistants, a team of armed bodyguards, a driver and “assorted hangers-on.”
What has all this done for Storch? According to the article, “he carries himself like a prince strolling through the kingdom with nary a care.”7
Scott Storch is both the result and an example of a lesson our children learn early on: that things bring happiness. As teens, they believe their self-worth and satisfaction in life are rooted in what they have, how they look, what they wear, where they go to school, what they drive, etc. Self-definition and worth hinges on possessions. It is not who they are as unique individuals created in the image of God that makes kids feel good about themselves. Rather, “I Am What I Have” becomes the life motto of many children and teens. This attitude, already learned from an adult culture that lives the same way, becomes entrenched in their world and life view as it is reinforced by a materialistic peer group.
I once heard a group of teenage girls describe this way of thinking about life. It was 5 a.m., and we were heading out in a car caravan for a day of skiing in the mountains. My station wagon was loaded with kids, including five sophomore girls who sat in the two rear seats. It was a Friday, the first day of their four-day holiday weekend. As we pulled out of the church parking lot, one of the girls asked if I would turn on the rear dome light and leave it on. I told her that having the light on would make it difficult for me to see in the predawn darkness. “Please leave it on,” she begged. “We have to study!” I was curious why a group of girls would have to ruin a great start to a four-day weekend by hitting the books. “Do you have a test on Tuesday morning?” I asked. “No,” they responded. “Are you behind in your work?” “No, we just want to get ahead.” When we arrived at the ski slopes, all of us took off for the lifts so we could get in a full day of skiing … or so I thought. These five girls stayed in the lodge studying! By the end of the day, they had only gone down the slopes a handful of times.
On the way home, I asked them about their strange behavior. What followed was a discussion about their life goals. My conversations with them and several other teens since have yielded insight into how these kids were thinking: “I have to study hard so that I get good grades in school. I have to get good grades so that I can be in the honors and AP classes and keep up my grade point average and class rank. Colleges look at those, you know. If I can get into the right college (not just any college), then I will be able to graduate and get into the right graduate school. This will lead to the right job where I will be able to make lots of money. Then I will be able to get all the things I want, retire early and enjoy life.”
The underlying motive for this approach to high school academics was their desire to achieve so that they might find happiness in the material rewards of their efforts. They were living proof of the worldview that underlies the American spirit. Rodney Clapp, in his eye-opening essay, “Why the Devil Takes Visa,” describes what I heard from these girls this way: “The affluent, technologically advanced West seems more and more focused not on consuming to live, but on living to consume.”8
This is why children and teens are the most-targeted market demographic group in the world. They are so materialistic that marketers couldn’t be happier. Today’s kids equate happiness with the acquisition of more and more consumer goods, especially luxury items. They are spinning the wheel of fortune and hoping for the big money. For many, this track appears to be the only path to happiness and meaning in life. “Forty-four percent of kids in fourth through eighth grades now report that they daydream ‘a lot’ about being rich. And nearly two-thirds of parents report that ‘my child defines his or her self-worth in terms of the things they own and wear more than I did when I was that age.’”9
Before we look at some practical ideas and responses to materialism, we must ask ourselves two questions. First, do we know how kids get pointed to a materialistic lifestyle? And second, do we know what the proper God-given attitude is that we should have toward money and material things?
The hows of materialism
The answer to the how question is fairly simple. Remember the last few words of Harry Chapin’s famous song “Cat’s in the Cradle?” When he sings, “He’d grown up just like me/My boy was just like me,” he was bearing witness to a biblical truth that has been supported for thousands of years through research, observation and experience. Kids become like their parents. They learn by what they see lived out in the home.
The fact that we all too often define ourselves by our work and worldly possessions has not been lost on our kids. In today’s world, that message is powerfully and consistently reinforced by the pervasive presence of a marketing machine that sells worldly possessions on the false premise that they are ultimately redemptive, offering us satisfaction, purpose, meaning and personal peace. Not only are our kids swimming and marinating in the soup of that marketing message from birth, but they are swimming with millions of their peers who have bought into and believed that same message. All of this combines in a potent mix that leaves us wondering if our positive example can break through to be seen and heard.
When it comes to the economics of lifestyle choices, the fact that your example is still the most powerful teacher is both good news or bad news. And remember, even well-intentioned Christian parents who have been living in an age and culture of excess can pass on materialistic attitudes to their children.
The whats of materialism
The answer to the what question is equally clear: Our job as parents is to help our children and teens redefine their idea of success by equipping them to understand and live out God’s definition of success. Of course, this requires that we understand and live out his definition ourselves.
Unfortunately, God never chose to include a clear one-sentence definition of success in his Word. But even though we can’t point our kids to a specific chapter and verse where God says, “Success is … ,” the entire Bible, from cover to cover, defines success as faithful devotion to God and obedience to his commands. That’s quite different from the definition fed to us by the unwritten dictionary of contemporary American culture.
God cares deeply about our attitudes toward money and wealth. Did you know that more is said in the New Testament about money and wealth than about heaven and hell combined? Five times more is said about money than about prayer. And 16 of Christ’s 38 parables deal with money!
Look at a few of the words Jesus spoke about money and material things:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:19-21, NIV).
“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matt. 6:24 NIV).
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear … But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:25, 33, NIV).
God also spoke about money and material things through the apostle Paul: “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (I Tim. 6:9-10, NIV).
Theologian John Stott sums up Jesus’ teaching this way: “What Jesus forbids his followers is the selfish accumulation of goods; extravagant and luxurious living; the hardheartedness which does not feel the colossal need of the world’s under-privileged people; the foolish fantasy that a person’s life consists in the abundance of his possessions; and the materialism which tethers our hearts to the earth.”10
Throughout the pages of the Bible, God makes it clear that money in and of itself is not evil. Rather, it is the love of money and material things that clouds our view and leads us down the wrong road in the pursuit of worldly success. This is exactly what happened to the rich young man in Mark 10:17-22 who sought out Jesus for the answer to the gaping hole that he knew existed in his life. He went to Jesus and asked what he must do to receive eternal life. Jesus tells him that he must give up his earthly treasures because they stand in the way of his finding treasure in heaven. The man left his encounter with Jesus sad because he was unwilling to stop worshiping the god of his wealth. Then Jesus turned and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the
C.S. Lewis knew the dangers of money and wealth when he warned, “Prosperity knits a man to the world. He feels that he is finding his place in it, while really it is finding its place in him.11
In 1928 a group of the world’s most successful financiers met at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in
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The president of the largest independent steel company, Charles Schwab, lived on borrowed money the last five years of his life and died broke.
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The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cutten, died abroad, bankrupt.
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The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, served a term in Sing Sing Prison.
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The member of the President’s cabinet, Albert Fall, was pardoned from prison so that he could die at home.
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The greatest bear in Wall Street, Jesse Livermore, committed suicide.
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The president of the Bank of International Settlements, Leon Fraser, committed suicide.
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The head of the world’s greatest monopoly, Ivar Drueger, committed suicide.
Our children need to know that God’s definition of success stands in marked contrast to the definition that the world would have us believe. Two different definitions of success. Two different paths to take in life. Two different outcomes. We must teach our children that the real measure of their success in life is how much they’d be worth if they had absolutely nothing.
So what’s the most effective way to teach them this real measure of success? Without a doubt, it’s the example we set.
One year during the Christmas shopping rush, my wife had the opportunity to observe a mother and her middle-school-aged daughter as they waited in a clothing store checkout line. The mother was waiting to purchase a pair of jeans for herself. The daughter was registering her discontent with her mother’s decision to buy off-brand no-name jeans. “Mom, you know you only like to wear the expensive jeans with the Guess? label on the back. Why are you buying these?” The mother turned to her daughter and proceeded to explain her intentions to remove the label off a pair of worn-out Guess? jeans so that she could sew it on the back of the pair she was purchasing! What kind of message was that daughter getting from her mother’s example? Sure, she was saving a few dollars by being very creative. But the real message was this: I, your mother, must wear jeans with a designer label.
What messages are you sending to your children through the example of your own words and actions? What lifestyle lessons are you teaching them?
Here are some questions to ponder as you examine yourself. Take the time to answer them seriously. Discuss your answers with your spouse. You might even want to ask your children for their impression of what you are teaching.
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What do you want to pass on to your children? Money and material items (sometimes defined as financial security) or godly character traits?
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How much does your lifestyle reflect and conform to the values prevalent in our consumer society?
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If you are a goal-oriented person, what are your goals for five, 10 and 15 years from now? Are they primarily economic or material in nature?
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If your children were to write out a definition of success based on how you define it through your lifestyle, what would they write?
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Are you always looking to get the competitive edge or keep up with the Joneses? Are you jealous when someone you know acquires something that you don’t have yourself?
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Do you wish for things that you don’t have, believing that their acquisition would make your life better?
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Do you refer to your wants as needs?
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When will you know that you’ve “made it?”
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Someone once said to me, “You tell me who or what you spend your time daydreaming about, and I’ll tell you who or what your god is.” Who or what do you daydream about?
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Do you possess your possessions, or do they possess you?
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Do you focus on what you don’t have rather than being joyful about those things that you do have?
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Are you a cheerful, generous and joyful giver?
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Does your faith and security rest in God or in your things?
One of the most important lessons to teach our children and teens is that God owns everything that we have and are. There is nothing in this world that is not his. As a result, every spending or lifestyle decision we make is a spiritual decision. Do your spending and lifestyle decisions reflect that commitment? Are you trying to fill the God-shaped void in your soul with idols and objects that can never, ever fill that hole?
I grew up in a home where, while my parents weren’t poor, we had quite a bit less than any of our neighbors. My parents tell me that as a young boy I was puzzled by the fact that we were the only family on the street that didn’t have a maid. Sure, there were lots of things I wanted to have while I was growing up, and I was disappointed when I didn’t get them. But my parents passed on something far more valuable—their example. They taught us the difference between needs and wants, constantly reminding me that most everything I begged for because I needed it, was at its roots something that I wanted. I hated hearing that lesson then, but am extremely grateful for it now. They taught us that everything is God’s and should be used according to his rules of stewardship and for his glory. They modeled thrifty living and generous giving, without ever becoming boastful about either. And they taught me that living hand-to-mouth isn’t such a bad way to live when the hand feeding my mouth belongs to God.
C.S. Lewis once said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”12 Are you pointing your children to that other world?
1Rory Glynn, “Bargains, Flops in the World of Sports,”
2David L. Siegel, Timothy J. Coffey, and Gregory Livingston, The Great Tween Buying Machine: Capturing Your Share of the Multibillion Dollar Tween Market (
3Susan Linn, Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood (
4Juliet B. Schor, Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture (
5Alissa Quart, Branded; The Buying and Selling of Teenagers (
6Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, 10th ed., 717.
7Toure, “Scott Storch’s Outrageous Fortune,” Rolling Stone, 13-27 July 2006, 81.
8Rodney Clapp, “Why the Devil Takes Visa,” Christianity Today, 7 October 1996, 19.
9Juliet Schor, Born to Buy, 37.
10John Stott, ed. By Timothy Dudley-Smith, Authentic Christianity: From the Writings of John Stott (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1995), 242.
11C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (New York, N.Y.: MacMillan, 1961), Letter 28.
12C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York, N.Y.: Macmillan, 1952), 120.
For more information on resources to help you understand today’s rapidly changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding.
©2006, The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding